Nightly Reflections – Tuesday, September 8th, 2020

Hi again. Allow me to begin tonight with this…if you’re reading tonight’s Reflection, then I should thank you for returning and allowing me some time to deal with the loss of my buddy, Willy…the Willsters, as I liked to call him from time to time. He was a character. I’ve learned a little about me during these few days where I chose to focus only on my feelings concerning Willy’s absence and my loss. I’ll get to that later. As for now, I thank you and hope you find returning worthwhile.

I hope your previous days have had little to nothing in the way of what I’ve been dealing with in my world. We certainly had some great weather leading into the holiday itself. Suddenly, however, it’s fall and we have much needed rain behind us. Bring on the 70s once again now.

Let me take you back to the weekend. Saturday morning, I woke and prepared for the arrival of Zerorez carpet cleaning folks. I had to vacuum first and pick up so they could go through the house and clean the carpet. Willy had peeing issues outside his litter box. One kind man came and didn’t charge me for the bio spray they use when an animal has done what Willy did. I think he felt bad for me. In any case, he was here for about an hour and then he was off to his next house. My house smelled clean once again. Willy’s urine never smelled like normal disgusting cat urine; the doc said it was because of the diabetes that the odor was missing. For that, I was grateful. The carpet looked really good when Zerorez left. The price was decent, and after five years of usage, it was kind of looking new again. I’d use the service again.

The rest of Saturday was long. It didn’t, nor does it now, take a lot to trigger an emotional reaction to Willy being gone. That will take time, I’m sure. Today it’s better than it was yesterday, and yesterday was better than Sunday and so on and so forth. I will tell you I feel a sadness, an emptiness and a loneliness I haven’t felt ever before. I guess he was more important to me than even I knew. These past days I think I see him out of the corner of my eye and then…nothing. That will probably be there for a while.

Saturday afternoon, a buddy invited me to see Tenet at the Rosemount Theaters. It was a 3-hour distraction, and you can bet I said yes to that. There were four other people in the theater. It couldn’t have been any safer. The grocery store has more risk. The movie was very challenging, but it held my attention. I was glad to have been invited. My friend knew I needed to get the hell out of my house for a while.

Sunday was just a little better. I talk to Willy. And I cry. I also have felt great anger, but it’s more than just having lost my roommate. I get so angry; I don’t like myself when it happens. It’s not who I am. Sunday night had more distractions…Big Brother, Lovecraft Country, and The Dick Van Dyke Show. Then came Labor Day.

Waking up is a little different right now. No Willy to run into. No Willy to feed. No pee spots to be concerned about having happened while I slept. I’m getting used to it. There’s really nothing left in the house that was Willy-related. The food and water area is no longer there. The litter box is gone and the laundry room is once again just the laundry room. The only real item left connected directly to Willy is the bill I will receive from the vet. I have a number of cans of food to return along with a partial bag of prescription food and at least 200 needles used for insulin. The insulin pen will be tossed. I disconnected from that company as well as Chewy.com. All moves that hurt my heart just a little bit. Loose ends, you know.

And now, Tuesday. Today my life returned to a bit more like normal. At 9:45, I had my second dental appointment. It began with the permanent bridge on the lower half of the right side. Then he worked on the upper bridge and left me a temporary once again. I was three hours in the chair. Talk about having a reason to think about something other than the loss of one’s pet. I always feel like I have to swallow when four hands are in my mouth. Silly me. In two weeks, I return for the permanent bridge and then I shouldn’t need to see the dentist for a while!

After the dentist, around 12:30, I stopped in at Barnes and Noble, especially since I drove right by it to get to my dentist in Burnsville. The new Fredrik Backman book came out today. Something to look forward to. I picked up some lunch and then returned home… for a while. I almost wrote “…to feed Willy…” It’s stuff like that that happens a lot. I will be happy when that subsides too.

Then came the one event I have been looking forward to since I was asked weeks ago. I haven’t written about it because a) I wasn’t writing and b) I was focused on Willy’s health and my world of worry. However, Farmington High School asked me to announce their marching band concerts, three of them, tonight. It’s why I am late in posting. All three concerts were the same. The school needed to invite parents in three different blocks. Based on the first letter of the last name, parents showed up and sat distanced in the cold September night in the stadium while I was able to sit inside the press box. I was ecstatic when asked and as it turns out, I needed to do this. It was a way to return some normalcy to my world. It was good for my soul. As it turns out, we didn’t have to deal with rain either. Just cold. And it WAS cold! But what an awesome night for the community. From what I understand, the band had an entire show worked up before they had to scratch that. Then they created a mini-version of a normal show. With the seniors last chance to have a marching band experience, the directors and administration moved ahead to allow this night to happen, providing that Covid concerns were at the top of the priority list. It was truly a win-win for all involved and I applaud everyone’s efforts in giving the kids yet another memory that Covid tried to steal from them.

Finally tonight, it’s good to write again. I did some writing for my own purposes in the previous days. Processing. Cathartic. Therapeutic. In 1998, my world changed unlike I had ever known. It continued to change right up until Willy left. Now, today, life for me is like it was in the early part of 1998 and prior. I am not the same person I was then, but I am in the same situation I was then. My challenge is now how to deal with that. I’ll be working on it in the days and weeks ahead. I’m grateful if you returned to read tonight. I’ve said it many times before how this is not for an audience…this is for my need to practice writing. But the fact I have an “audience” is especially flattering and nice. Hopefully, you’ll be sticking by as the stories continue. After five complete years, writing night after night, it was nice to have three nights not to think about the Reflection. However, I knew last night it was time to return as well. So, here I am and now I’m gone ’til tomorrow night. Go forth and live life 🙂

G’Night!

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Nightly Reflections – Friday, August 21st, 2020

And so begins yet another weekend in the merry merry month of August. And it’s going to be a warm one, with hopefully some rain. Bring it on!

How went your last two days? Mine were pretty good. We’ll get the nasty details out of the way right away. Willy is still peeing in the living room. I think his personality is slowing coming back. But the peeing thing, to be honest, is driving me insane. If you haven’t done the math yet, my knees pretty much suck. Getting down to clean up his accidents and then getting up off my knees makes for an unpleasant experience and sensation. On top of that, I’m pretty sure he’s been dribbling. And, there are spots where his accidents are barely noticeable. If I’m not looking with great intensity, I probably miss it. The only saving grace is it does not have the cat urine odor attached to it. I suspect when that returns, he’ll be keeping it all in the box. If not, we’ll have a problem. In any case, he just “seems” to be a little better. I always say that cautiously cuz sure as hell someone is going to pick up on it and think I said it with great confidence. I’m not. I’m saying it seems. I made a terrible mistake yesterday. Willy has always loved his string cheese, and I told you Wednesday night he and I had a stick or two. Obviously, I gave him a string or two from the entire stick. Well, I gave him some again yesterday morning before I ran to get groceries. When I returned, I regretted having done so. He had thrown it up. Note to self: Stop feeding him string cheese. I have my hands full with the pee. The insulin continues to go in without a hitch. I get his attention with a few treats. He jumps up on the coffee table, I push him down in a lying position, give him a few treats, rub his scruff before taking a handful of it in one hand and the insulin pen in the other. I push in the needle, no reaction whatsoever, and then inject. He simply looks at me as if to say, “More treats, please.” And I accommodate with more scruff rubbing and “Good boy.” I am so ready for the pee to end and his back legs to regain more stability. It’s coming, I’m sure. It’s all about patience, of which I have little.

Yesterday was the writing group at the Trapp Park Pavillion. They cashed in cuz at HyVee, when I was shopping for groceries, I saw BOGO on cinnamon rolls. I never buy them for myself, but for some reason, they looked really tasty. So, I used the freebie as a surprise treat for the gathering. Grabbed a roll or paper toweling and a knife and off I went for 90 minutes of fellowship with the gang. It was a beautiful afternoon under the roof with a nice strong breeze. It was a good thing 🙂

After last night’s Brewers/Twins finale and the final two hours of the convention, it was time to do something I had obsessed about for 72 hours. It was time to download a new PS4 game. Years back, there was an EA Sports game with Tiger Woods on the front case cover. Golf. It was a slick video game. Then, suddenly, no EA golf game. Year and year. Then, this week, when I was looking at the Target ad, there it was. PGA Tour 2K21. There will be a Switch version next Tuesday. So, I paid for a download and waited until morning to see what the game looked like. It’s everything I hoped it would be. Great game play. Difficult until I can minimize the learning curve. Broadcasters and all, just like my baseball game. Oh to be 64, going on 20. 🙂

Today had a great highlight! I met with the gang for our Covid version of Granite City. We met at Italian Pie Shoppe for lunch. It’s always more than just good to see them. We have about years of history and being with them is comfortable and satisfying. For all the relationships that have gone by the boards over the years for me, I’m glad this one still lives like it did when we were teaching. We’re bound and determined not to let it lapse like relationships often do when that day-to-day contact no longer exists. It was a great lunch on a beautiful day and we caught up on the lives of all. I am already excited about the next one we’ll plan.

After that, it was come home and work on my postcards I’m doing for the political campaign of my friend. My right hand has been giving me trouble cuz arthritis has finally found a new destination. My left hand has it, but my right was void of pain. No longer. So, handwriting a sentence on all the postcards can be painful. All in good time, eh?

Friday night means watching my Brewers once again against Pittsburgh. I’ll continue to write more postcards during that time. My task is simply to write a sentence that the campaign has given me and then address the cards when the sentence appears on all the cards. During the baseball game should be a good time in which to get the task done.

Tomorrow is package day, one of three in the next couple of weeks. Next week, a new coloring book arrives. I’m excited. Its content is from a Disney movie from my childhood. 🙂 Tomorrow’s is a movie I haven’t seen in a long time and I never see it offered on any streaming service nor on TCM. It’s far from a “great” film, but it definitely will fit into my “summer DVDs.”

By the way, I figured out where to find my word count with this new layout for this website. I still can’t figure out how to get pictures in my actual blog site, yet when I put a picture in to my rough draft, it appears in my Facebook post. But it does NOT appear on my Room With A View page. So, I don’t get it. I’ll continue to play around, but I hate that I can’t figure it out. If I was 20, I’d likely have it in two shakes of a leg 😛

Hoping your evening and the Saturday that follows are good to you. We’ll rejoin here Saturday evening to touch base and go from there 🙂 So, until then, relax. It’s your weekend 🙂

G’Night!

Nightly Reflections – Wednesday, August 19th, 2020

Ok.  I have no idea how this is going to appear visually.  This is the new “block editor” on WordPress.com.  I don’t do “new” well, and it already seems that this is not going to look like previous posts, so bear with me and allow some nights to pass as I try to get a handle on this “new” thing I am experiencing.  I just don’t do “new” very well any more.

Today was not quite the day I thought it was going to be when this week began. Today was originally slated for lunch with the Granite City clan. That was cancelled due to life for a couple of the folks, but now, it’s back on for Friday! Good news for all. However, today had a pretty decent replacement surprise. Another retired peep asked if I was interested in joining him and another in Hastings for lunch. That will explain the picture of the bridge and the river. We ate at the American Legion, on their patio. A nice patio. A couple of things that were strange. One, we left our car and approached the “hostess” podium that was outside. There was a sign that read, MUST WEAR MASK BEYOND THIS POINT. Once seated, we could take them off. Weird. Second, I would wager a guess that it was an hour before we got our order and our order was nothing unusual. The patio wasn’t incredibly busy, so all we could figure was the inside must have been crazy. If so, glad we were outside in the sun and the beautiful backdrop.

Yesterday, the writing group was supposed to have their bi-weekly meeting, but that had to be cancelled. And now, it’s slated for tomorrow afternoon, so the week wasn’t looking quite so full and suddenly, it’s turning out to be one of my busier weeks. That’s fine with me 🙂

I suspect you’re wondering about Willy. Well, last night’s first injection went well. I felt the need to distract/bribe him while injecting him, so I opened up my package of string cheese. Willy goes absolutely crazy for string cheese. And last night was no different. He jumped up on my lap in the recliner like NOTHING was bothering him in his legs and back quarters. He had me giggling as I was trying to manipulate the pen, the cheese, his tuft of hair and whatever else I was juggling. However, it truly went well and he didn’t seem to notice it. That was then. Then there was this morning, injection #2.

Injection #2 had its challenges, primarily due to me. All my life, I played the role of Lou Costello or Jerry Lewis. If something easy and simple could be mucked up, I’d be the one to do it. I learned way back then it’s best to learn to laugh at one’s self versus any other reaction. That philosophy got me far in life. 😉 In any case, this morning was too early for string cheese. The injection times are 9AM and 9PM or thereabouts. So, I grabbed his bag of treats and brought them to the coffee table. Up he jumped the moment he heard the bag. I had the pen and the game began. I’d feed him a treat at a time. He’s a better vacuum than my vacuum. I couldn’t keep pace with his eating habits. I had the pen in hand, trying to grab his scruff, needle exposed, but then I had to put the pen down, and as I did it, I put it down (without force) onto the table. When I looked at the needle, I saw it had bent and I was out one needle. Ugh. I closed the bag of treats and went to the kitchen to load another needle. I could hear Willy trying to get into the bag of treats. When I went to put the protective covering on the bent needle, it poked through and lightly pricked me. Five minutes later, I was beginning to meow and had a strange desire to visit the litter box. I returned with a new needle in the pen, ready to inject. Screw the idea of the treat. I grabbed his scruff and injected the needle into the area. “Crap!” I said. I had forgotten to dial out a dose amount. Damn, Damn, Damn! I was NOT going to get yet another needle, so I turned the clicker to “1” and injected him. Not a flinch. That was it. Tonight’s injection will be a simple injection. After it, I will give him some treats. This is far more difficult than it needs to be and I am the reason for the difficulty, so I can fix that by simply not worrying I’m going to “hurt” him and just inject.

The bad news was when I entered the living room, I could see a wet spot again. Nothing in the litter box. Sigh. Oh well. I know this is going to take a few days to take hold, so I’ll just continue to do what I am doing and I’ll simply expect to see wet spots in the morning. If I don’t, it will be a real treat for me!

I did run to the P.O. today after having a successful call to the MN Retired offices, mainly the folks at the Health Care Savings Plan office. I needed to get clarification on a couple of questions I had regarding completing the reimbursement forms. For five complete years, I have had a fund, thanks to sick days I never used in my career, from where my monthly insurance premium was taken. That account is connected to a money market. Low risk, but still some risk. Well, I always had hoped it would last just til Medicare when I would be paying out of pocket for monthly costs connected to Medicare. Well, as it turns out, the market has been kind and the fund has money enough left for my final three premiums and more. I want to reimburse myself for my glasses and the two-teeth extraction from last month. So, after getting my answers, I filled out the form and mailed it immediately. While there, I picked up a sheet of stamps. Bugs Bunny stamps! How awesome is that! I put one on my form I was mailing. I figure they might send me my money sooner if they see that stamp and worry I might be losing my mind at a younger age. 🙂

Ok. I have great pictures tonight and hope I can figure out how to insert them with this new set-up. This is NOT easy to understand. Grrrrr…. It’s baseball night, convention night #3, Big Brother night, AGT results night, but that must wait as I didn’t see last night’s show where I heard a finalist accidentally set himself on fire. Yikes. So, tomorrow night is “It’s Anybody’s Guess” night. I have an idea but who knows. And who knows how many words this is. Another question I have as to how can I find that out?!?!?! Aaaauuuuggggghhhhh!

G’Night!

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